Ever feel like you’re one of those people from those commercials that’s just standing there while the blurry mass of pedestrians flash by you on the sidewalk.

Welcome to my life. Allow me to be emo for a sentence or two:

My world feels like it’s spinning at a million miles an hour; like my feet are glued to the roof of a speeding bus.

It’s the beginning of finals week. The one week of the semester where college students turn into sullen, nocturnal creatures who crave caffeine, adderall, and a break. The library is packed, my room is too comfortable, and the Davis Center is too distracting. I need to find a nook. Preferably one with a magical internet block on facebook, perez hilton, and wordpress.

With that said….only 11 days until break.

So I’m almost done with my first semester of college (yay!) and while I nervously await the overwhelming swell of finals anxiety that’s bound to hit any day, I’ve had some time to think about these last 3 months. College is a strange entity in itsself. One day, someone decided that it would be not only logical, but beneficial, to uproot young-adults from their lives, move them and their stuff somewhere new, expect them to make new friends and live without supervision, and as if that wasn’t enough, teach them complicated things. Really, it’s madness when you think of it that way.

I am a person who is generally afraid of change. I don’t mind admitting it; I’m still openminded and all, but change scares the crap out of me. So, natrually, this whole college scared me too. For the first 2 months, my heart was just not here. It was back in Hadley, so to speak, which is strange considering how much I wanted to leave in the first place. I thought that I could “do college” with one foot back home. That, however, didn’t work out like I planned. You see, home wasn’t “home” anymore. It was not the place I spent my summer, and departed from on August 29th. And it took me way to long to realize that. I looked foreward to Thanksgiving break like you wouldn’t believe. But to be honest, it was good, but not great. I was missing college the entire time (which surprised me a great deal). So I guess the lesson learned here is embrace change. Jump into new situations with both feet. Better yet, do a swan dive and let yourself linger in the air for a while. It’s too late now, but I wish I hadn’t wasted 2 months of what is supposed to be “the greatest time of my life” missing a home that doesn’t exist. But I know this now, so onwards and outwards I will go; embracing change, maybe even learning to love it.

Maybe I’ll work on embracing and loving surprises next…or not. So don’t throw me a surprise party anytime soon.

Whoever said that high school was the “best days of our lives” either lived in Pleasantville or was sniffing rubber glue everyday after school. As American minors, we are forced to spend 12 years in the public education system, and while some drop out, most make it from kindergarten to senior year in almost one piece. Hollywood tries to recreate the traditional “high school” atmosphere in the movies and tv shows, but most often fail miserably. I’m coming to the end of my high school career, and looking back, I’m realizing that I hated just about every minute of it. From waking up early, to pointless classes and assignments, to stupid friend drama, I’ve genuinely despised anything and everything that was associated with my school for the past 4 years. I fail to see the logic behind “the best days of our lives”, considering these days were filled with rules, regulations, “no”s, and consequences. Petty drama ruled the hallways, and now that were seniors people expect us to come together as a class and be all buddy-buddy? Yeah, maybe after some serious electro shock therapy…

Maybe my viewpoint will change when I’m sitting in the gym waiting for my diploma, but as of right now, I just can’t wait to peace the eff out of here and never look back.